making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
