I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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