R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
