Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
