Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
