party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
