i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
