a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
