My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
