i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
