If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
