and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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