she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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