i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
