He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
