I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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