i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
