I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
