woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
