Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
