So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
