i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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