i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Someone signed my nipple.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
