when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
