White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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