What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
