put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
