Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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