I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
