Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
