That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
