oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
