Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
