so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
