you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
