why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Randomize
