I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
