Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
