i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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