Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Mylastserenade hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(330): View more from Ohio

you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow

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(678): View more from Georgia

He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.

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(716): View more from New York

It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.

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(631): View more from New York

I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me

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(845): View more from New York

Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way

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(803): View more from South Carolina

happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care

(571): View more from Virginia

That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.

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