Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
