pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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