absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
