I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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