so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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