Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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