Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
