How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
