Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
