rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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