Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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