White coat. Heels.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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