I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
