She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
