I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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