I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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