help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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