well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How's work?
Spinning.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
